#panda<3 rants

[imalazypandaaa]

This is genuinely the most annoying thing ever.

This and people in Grian’s comments criticizing the way he put the series together. Like- be glad he’s doing it AT ALL! He doesn’t have to. It’s stupid for people to get upset over people pairing together because they’re friends. Stop criticizing their every move. Calling back to the original post, the people saying it’s “boring” for Grian and Scar to team up or that Pearl teaming with people she already has don’t complain about Mumbo and Grian, they don’t complain about Treebark. Hell! Even Etho and Bdubs who team almost all the time. Nobody has an issue with that. It’s stupid. Just let them play the game gosh dang it! They should be able to team with whoever they want to team with without being criticized.

The comments I saw on Grian’s video were admittedly kinder than others.

But still. Gosh. There’s no reason anybody should have a problem with any of it. Wouldn’t it be “worse” if they didn’t do the Life Series at all? How far do you need to push them before they stop?

Thank you for your time<3

[freckled-words]

Hear me out: Dreamworks did Li Shan (Po’s dad) dirty

Aka: we were shown glimpses of a fierce panda dad who also looks to have become the panda village’s leader in #2, but then in #3 we get not that.

Let me start by saying that I do enjoy the 100% gentle himbo we were given in #3. I would sacrifice myself for that sweet panda father.

However!

It took me a long time to embrace that presentation due to the mislead we were given of him in #2

The impression I got of Po’s father in KP2 was definitely the source for Po’s natural ambition to fight. Because we see that panda wreck some wolves’ with a sledge hammer, and a fierceness like that can definitely be passed on in genetics not to mention - as a baby seeing this, it would leave a solid mental impression.

Even at the end of KP 2 when we are shown Li receiving the message of Po still being alive, we are shown someone that is calm, composed and somewhat in a position of leadership. If you have one panda sitting higher up wearing a nice covering, and then have other pandas down below turn to look up at him, I’m seeing a presentation of leadership!

I can see Dreamworks going the himbo route it’s an easier dad-to-son presentation for the kids that watch the movie, as well as it being like “hey look, this dad is big and goofy just like your dad.”

But I kinda wish they’d worked some of that himbo into the message scene, or at least given us a blend. Where we are given this gentle himbo in the start that chose never to wield his hammer again, since it did no good for his wife and child, and then in the end he breaks it back out to help Po with Kai. (Not that I don’t love The Dad Armor contraption)

Phew, okay that’s my rant. Thanks for sparing your time to read! ❤️

[eosofspades]

no bc you’re SO right that kai is WAY weaker as a villain than tai lung or shen (shen especially, bc imo he’s the best villain of the trilogy) and i’d love to hear your thoughts on why <3

100% agree shen is my FAVORITE villain of the trilogy and possibly one of my favorite villains of all time. and tai lung is an incredibly close second! however, i really didn't care for kai.

the biggest thing about kai for me is that, as a villain, he is way weaker than the other two because he is extremely lacking in a personal connection to po, and also much weaker when considering how his character reflects the themes and narrative of the movie as a whole.

tai lung, as a villain, worked so well because he was obsessed with the concept of being the dragon warrior, and the supposed "power" that would come with that. the lesson of kfp1, though, was that there WAS no real magical power given by the scroll - there is no secret ingredient! it's just you! it was never about the scroll; it was about choosing to be good and do good for the sake of being good, not because you wanted power for it. tai lung couldn't accept this, which is why he made a fantastic villain for this one, thematically. (and ALSO a fantastic foil to po, who is so humble and doesn't NEED power, he's just passionate about kung fu and wants to have a good time with his friends.)

lord shen as a villain who reflects the themes of the story, though, takes this to the absolute HIGHEST level. the entire story of kfp2 pivots around po's struggle to reconcile his origins with who he is now, and both of those things are directly related to shen - he leads the massacre that ends up getting po sent away, which sets him on the journey to BECOME the dragon warrior, and po's destiny was always going to be to defeat him. both then and now, the course of po's life is being shaped by shen. shen is also a fantastic foil to po in the same way that tai lung was - shen cannot let go of the past, he clings to his anger and his fear; while po is able to accept what happened, accept that it is part of who he is but not what defines him, and is able to find healing and peace.

kai, by comparison........ has almost nothing to do with po. kai actually has NO personal connection to po! his evil scheme is related to the pandas, but absolutely nothing to do with po, specifically. tai lung had no shared past with po the way lord shen did, but he still had personal and specific reasons to hate po because po was getting the title and role that he so desperately wanted. but kai's only beef is with oogway! he didn't even seem to know that po existed until oogway says "it was never my destiny to stop you - i have set another on that path." and kai just says "then i will find him, and take his chi as well." his motives are also much weaker than the other two's - who both wanted power, yes, but tai lung was also deeply desperate to make shifu proud, to live up to the legend that he had been raised to believe he would become, and part of this was shifu's fault! that's extremely interesting and tragic!! and shen was motivated by fear - fear of his prophecized defeat, of the inescapability of his fate - and by grief over his (perceived) inability to make his parents proud, or get them to love him. kai, by contrast, was..... mad that oogway wasn't okay with letting him become a magical chi-stealing warlord??

kai also doesn't tie in with the themes or po's arc in this movie. in terms of other characters, po's arc in this one revolves way more around his fathers - trying to handle his new responsibilities of being the teacher to the five, trying to figure out how to balance the two different identities he has as the son of these two different fathers, but the only connection he has to kai is that he needs to be a master of chi to defeat him, which he can only learn how to be from the pandas, which incidentally happen to be his family. (and the fact that at the end, everyone is doing chi makes it seem like him being a panda or not might not have even been that relevant to begin with!) and kai's defeat is also sort of weak - he's defeated by the "too much power" trope, but nothing else in this story was about being power-hungry or the dangers of it. it wasn't something any of the pandas struggled with, hunger for power was NEVER a part of po's journey, and at least in kfp1 tai lung's desire for the dragon scroll was about more than just power (he wanted to make shifu proud), but also, because the entire theme of that story was that you didn't NEED power to be the dragon warrior. kfp3's narrative isn't ABOUT power; it's about identity and culture and balancing different aspects of your life to find your truest self. kai's character has nothing to say about ANY of this, he doesn't struggle with or care about any of these things - he is JUST power-hungry.

he also lacks that character foil aspect the other two had. the ability to take chi is never even presented as an option to po. what MIGHT have been interesting would have been if the only way to defeat kai was to take HIS chi - something a master of it would be able to do! - and po was forced into the dilemma of having to choose between risking going down the same path as kai for the sake of protecting his loved ones, or the risk of endangering them even more by refusing to. if the conflict had been about the good vs evil uses of chi powers, then that would have made kai a foil to po as well. but as it is now, kai has nothing to do with po, personally.

basically what it boils down to is that kai, as a villain, is serviceable, but when held up in contrast to the previous two, it becomes very obvious how much weaker he is narratively. his motivations are much shallower than the others', his connection to po is tangential at best, and as an antagonist, he doesn't have anything to say about the themes or messaging of the story OR the protagonist's arc.

[chiosblog]

ok so i watched kfp 4 and I have to say something cause of reasons, under the cut

This movie had the potential to be a masterpiece after what we saw with the last Puss in Boots film in term of visuals and story but what we had was a tiepid oc fanfic that would have been ideal on streaming or tv

Fuck I read waay better fics than this

Its so sad to see my favorite characters treated so poorly, erasing all the potential they had. I know many people liked the third film but i cannot help but dislike it cause they were soo close to perfection with the concepts and original plot ideas (from what I read on the artbook - especially that ONE scene with Tigress and Po my god I'll never forgive them for cutting those scenes damn) and then dediced to turn it into an half baked comedy sketch for the most part with a few interesting scene casually put in the mix, throwing in the garbage all the prestine story work they did with the first two movies.

It could be worst, i know that, but this one really seem like a tv movie more than anything. It seems to me they did a better job handling the recent tv shows (and thats kinda embarassing for a major dreamworks release).

On a positive note: my wife is BACK for 20 seconds god. I missed her so much, i (kinda) take back what i said on kfp 3 cause not having her at all in the whole film is pain gaaah

[cinnamon-bunni]

Hi hi hi! For the fanfic author ask game - 3, 24 and 30! 💕

hiiii!!! thanks for the ask! <3

3. Tell me about one of your fics you think is underrated/underappreciated. Underrated fic that I have...I feel like that's hard to choose, seeing as that a good handful of fics that I've written that I feel, personally, are underappreciated are for smaller fandoms, so the numbers were always destined to be smaller than I wish for them to be. curse my love for smaller fandoms... However, for my Obey Me! fics, I feel like I have quite a few answers? lol I'd have to say my most underrated fic is A Useless Date! I mean, I know why it's not as popular as my other works—a fic where Lucifer and Asmodeus discuss being aromantic isn't everyone's cup of tea. However, I'm quite happy with how I wrote them, and proud of how I handled the conversations lol;;; (and rereading it is always a great way to finish off Valentine's Day! <3) I Know Those Eyes is also another huge one for me that I feel is underappreciated. I think I handled a new style of writing very well! I tried something new, and I think it came out well <3 (and who doesn't love lucifer angst fics?)

24. What are some of your favourite tropes? My absolute favorite tropes will always be time loops!!! I am also a huge sucker psychological thrillers/horrors! Listen, if I don't write at least one fic for every fandom I write for where a character goes through a horrible tragedy and/or dies while another character gaslights them about it, then what's even the point lolol

30. What do you struggle with most when writing? I have always struggled with transitions. More specifically, I struggle a lot of connecting two completely different scenes. I think my problems with writing a good flow stems from that as well; my writing, to me, often reads as "ABC thing happened, and then XYZ", and I worry a lot that the readers see it as that way, too. Heart Melts (You Meant So Well) definitely has this problem in my eyes. Giving reasons as to why these scenes exist and the jarring, abrupt ends to them is something I hope I can fix in future chapters </3 What a Terrifying Work of Art is, I fear, also starting to fall into this. Since the whole thing is suppose to be snapshots of Simeon's recovery over many months, I fear of having no good transitions between scenes, having no reason to have a certain scene in the first place, and having them all connect to the bigger picture. (Then again, this fic was originally was supposed to be a one-shot until I decided it'd be way too long to post as such, so what I already pre-written just doesn't flow well as a multi. chap fic in my opinion.) Both of these fics, I've noticed, suffer from the same thing for the same reason: both have questions and scenes that pop-up throughout the fic that get answered or get closure near the end of the fic. Heart Melts has many scenes that, I feel, are out of place, but I wanted to include them as a sort of reference for the readers to have for the future. In Work of Art, the same thing happens all the time, but I want to hammer in the idea of Simeon being stuck, unable to do anything, while the brothers pity him for reasons he doesn't know. Nothing happens in either of these fics imo, and that's mainly because both of them are in the early stages, waiting for the climax to hit for everything to fall into place. (i am also struggling with this very same thing in my current undertale WIP lol) This was just a long-winded way of me saying that I struggle with transitions and having purposeful scenes lmao (which, i don't struggle with at all with one-shots. given my explanation above, it makes sense)

[dollishmehrayan]

# “SUDDENLY I SEE, THIS IS WHAT I WANNA BE” ── .✦ ( batboys w a zoologist/someone who’s very passionate about animals!reader ⋆౨ৎ )

dollish note ⋆౨ৎ: okay so this was a request by anon (here) and alsoo I’ve been like kinda gone as like much as I said I’d be back in march I thought that my days like have this gap in them where I can write for you guys so I thought why not entertain + carry my life yk? Anywayss enjoy ! <3 tags: (batboys x fem!reader)

© dollishmehrayan — ( all rights reserved to me. These works cannot be reposted, translated, or modified. Thank you for understanding dollies! )

DICK GRAYSON ── .✦

The Supportive Golden Retriever Boyfriend™

Dick absolutely adores how passionate you are about animals. He finds it so endearing that you can go on a 20-minute tangent about why capybaras are the ultimate chill kings of the animal world literally (we love a supportive king 💪)

He’ll sit there, chin propped in his hand, watching you with literal heart eyes as you explain fun animal facts. "Did you know that sea otters hold hands while they sleep so they don’t drift apart??”, he just responds with: "Babe, that’s literally us."

When you take him to the zoo, he’s your number-one cheerleader. He’s the guy hyping you up when you go full National Geographic mode. "Damn, look at my girl go! Bet the zookeepers are taking notes."

But also… chaos. You tell him about a random animal, and the next day, you get a text:

Dick: Babe, can we get a capybara?

You: No???

Dick: I already named him Carl. (Bad at name giving)

100% buys you animal plushies. You say you love red pandas? Boom. He’s bringing you a giant red panda plush the size of a toddler.

If he catches you watching animal documentaries at 2 AM, he will absolutely join in. You both end up getting emotionally attached to some random meerkat family.

JASON TODD ── .✦

The “Pretends Not To Care But Absolutely Does” Boyfriend

At first, he acts like it’s no big deal. You start talking about octopus intelligence, and he’s like, “Yeah, cool.” But then he’s actually listening.

You’ll randomly hear him drop animal facts he learned from you in casual conversation. "Did you know crows can recognize human faces?" And then he just walks away like he didn’t just absorb your entire personality.

You try to take him to the zoo. He acts reluctant. "Babe, I’m too old for this." But the second he sees the wolves? Yeah, he’s standing there for 20 minutes, fully invested.

Secretly loves big cats. If a tiger so much as looks at him, he’s like, “Yeah, that’s my guy, he fw me.”

Jason will 100% fake annoyance when you go on animal rants, but he’d never actually tell you to stop. He’ll just shake his head, smirking. "Babe, you’re literally an unpaid Discovery Channel host."

But if anyone ELSE tries to make fun of your animal obsession? Oh, he’s fighting them. "What, you don’t think learning about the mating habits of penguins isn’t interesting? You go right out the door before I drag you to it.”

TIM DRAKE ── .✦

The “Actually, This Is Fascinating” Nerd Boyfriend

Tim is so invested in your knowledge. He treats every animal fact you tell him like it’s groundbreaking news.

"Wait, wait, explain how ants communicate again?" You blink. "Tim, I’ve told you this three times." "Yeah, but I need to visualize it properly."

Will absolutely go down research rabbit holes just so he can talk to you about animals on your level. You wake up to a text at 3 AM:

Tim: So technically, a shrimp can punch as fast as a bullet?

You think he’s tired when you take him to the zoo? Nope. He’s taking notes. He will challenge the tour guide with additional facts.

If you’re working on any zoology projects, he’s your biggest supporter. Need funding for animal conservation? He’s pulling Wayne Enterprises money and some drake money too.

One time, you found him watching bird videos for fun. When you called him out, he just said, "They're cool, okay?"

DAMIAN WAYNE ── .✦

The “Of Course, My Beloved” Boyfriend

Listen. This is his dream relationship. Animals? Passion for them? You’re his soulmate LOCKEDDD INNNNN.

Will literally test you. "What do you know about Tibetan mastiffs?" If you pass? Immediate respect. If you don’t? "Tt. I will educate you."

You and him are unstoppable in animal debates. No one dares question your combined knowledge. Someone tries to say "cats don’t have feelings"? You and Damian tag-team destroy them.

You 100% have “who loves animals more” competitions. "I saved a hawk yesterday." "Tt. I rehabilitated a stray cat." "I named a baby goat after you." "...Beloved."

Dates? Animal sanctuaries. Zoos. Wildlife reserves. This man is taking you on the most eco-friendly, animal-filled dates ever.

One time, you found him talking to a cow. You swear it understood him. (Batcow ofc 🙂‍↕️)

BRUCE WAYNE ── .✦

Very thoughtful husband

Secretly impressed by your knowledge. You caught him actually listening when you explained how dolphins have names for each other.

Would 100% fund a wildlife conservation project just because you’re passionate about it.

(Fuck this man fr I don’t have ideas for him🥲)

[madlyney]

Your best friend, Yuta Okkotsu

Best friend!Yuta, who buys you gifts like pendants, bracelets, and plushies, saying, “It reminded me of you!” 

Best friend!Yuta, whose hugs with you last a little longer than they should — not that you really mind, though. You wish that you could just stay in his embrace forever. 

Best friend!Yuta, who gets worried when he doesn't see you around campus. He immediately texts you, but only gets more anxious when you don't answer. Maki tells him you were in your dorm, as you have unexpectedly caught a cold. Toge believes that Yuta’s worry scale might have gone through the roof when he sees the latter running to your dorm at full speed. 

Best friend!Yuta nurses you back to health whenever you're sick or injured from missions, saying you're his responsibility no matter what (and that he would hate to see you suffer).

Best friend!Yuta, who realised how his heart seemed to beat faster whenever he was with you, or how his stomach would feel all funny, but not in a bad way. Or how he keeps recalling your smile and the sound of your laughter, which unconsciously also brings a smile to his lips. 

Best friend!Yuta, who rants all of his newly discovered feelings for you to Toge and Panda. The two eventually get tired of his endless ramblings and Panda tells him, “Just tell her,” to which Toge replies with “Salmon”. 

Best friend!Yuta, when he finally confesses to you, asks you, “may I please be your boyfriend?” (instead of the usual ‘will you be my girlfriend’ question.)

Best friendBoyfriend!Yuta, who can’t stop getting enough of you and keeps wondering how he’s managed to be with you. The poor boy sometimes wonders whether he’s good enough for you, to which you reassure him with lots of hugs and kisses, saying that yes, he’s more than good enough for you.

Boyfriend!Yuta, who just falls in love with you even more every single day.

Note: happy new year !! Sorry for not posting lately😔 I’ve had a lot on my plate, but I’ll go back to writing, woohoo! This is one of my fave works so far, enjoy !!<3

[calitears]

VLOG #1. SUMMERBOY

PREVIOUS | STORY MASTERLIST | NEXT

You sighed after having finally finished your closing tasks for the night, right after having helped panda and inumaki ‘hide the evidence’ of a whole set of shot glasses they had dropped. All while praying the main bartender, Ieiri, or Shoko as gojo always called her, didn't notice.

The bar wasn’t closed off yet, waiting on a few more people to finish up their drinks, and so you sat down, watching as panda worked to close off the last few tabs.

You heard the stool next to you being pulled out, only to find megumi joining you at the counter to your left.

He gave you glance before letting out a sigh. You assumed it was because his last customers of the night was a party of 15 celebrating some 18 year old’s birthday, and even after letting you help him it was exhausting.

He spoke up, lowly, not enough for it to be considered a whisper or a mumble, but enough to highlight the clear exhaustion he was experiencing.

“You want a drink?”

“Well, if you’re offering.”

Letting out a huff of a laugh, he called out to panda to get his attention. Megumi let you order yours, before he asked for his own sake.

Panda nodded, yet hesitated a second after. “As much as i’d love to give you guys these for free, both Ieiri and Gojo agreed we can only do that on Fridays from now on.”

You looked at Megumi, before telling Panda it was fine. Megumi hummed out a short agreement.

“You’re not driving are you?” Megumi turned to ask you after panda had gone back to making the drinks.

You shook your head in response, "No, I live like seven minutes down the street. I'm guessing you live close by as well?"

“Yeah, ten to fifteen.”

A couple minutes pass by while waiting for you drinks, the sound of whatever late night show was left to play on the tv filling in the surprisingly comfortable silence between you both.

When you finally got the drinks, he raised his slightly in your direction.

“Toast, for a good first day of work together?”

You gave him a slight smile, before clinking the glass against his. Despite his occasional smart ass comment, there was no denying he was attractive, and you didn’t hold back from letting your gaze wander across the current side profile that faced you. Megumi had sharp features, but was blessed with a delicate touch to them.

After a couple seconds he turned back to face you while sipping on his drink, causing you to suddenly remembered something. Digging through your purse, gasping out a ‘wait’ that made him stop and raise an eyebrow.

He watched as you pulled out some type of camera, but by its style it could possibly be a decade old model.

“And what’s that?”

“New camera I bought this weekend. I was thinking of making short vlogs throughout the summer as like a cute little memory ‘cause I keep seeing these digicam vlogs everywhere.”

“You’re gonna vlog your summer? I mean if that’s what you wanna do…” Megumi shrugged slightly, watching you with some amusement as you turned it on and pointed it at him.

“Introduce yourself! In case I don’t get the chance to record you again soon.”

“Whatever… alright, my name’s Megumi Fushiguro and i’m l/n’s parol officer for the next week.”

You rolled your eyes at the comment, before shifting the lens to Panda who now also wanted to be included, distracting you from Megumi placing down a few bills, paying for both your drinks.

NOTES:

yes gojo had to clean the bathroom up alone

just assume yn has everyone saved as their first names bc when she didn’t know anyone she had maki make the contacts </3

y/n has been working for like half a week but it’s the ‘first’ full day of training with megumi

anytime i edit a gif in it makes the messages’ quality drop it’s so annoying pls forgive it’s not like insanely noticeable but it just bothers me srry guys little rant 🥀🥀🥀

forgive any run on sentences commas are my long lost lovers

TAGLIST - comment on story masterlist or dm to be added

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[sharkbitten-sailor]

hii! can you do forsaken x red panda user? (red pandas are my favorite animal lol)

it's okay if you can't! have a nice a day :3

[forsaken] dusekkar & taph x red panda!reader headcanons .ᐟ

a/n; ooh red panda? i think they're absolutely adorable. this is such a sweet request to work on, thanks anon <3

genaral hcs - small but fast, compared to other survivors, you’re definitely on the shorter side, but that just means you’ve got speed on your side! - your signature features? a big, cozy tail, small curved ears, and sharp claws. well, retractable claws, of course. handy for climbing, fighting, or just making a statement! - sleep schedule? completely unpredictable, causing nighttime chaos before crashing like a rock in the morning. (limbo time, as always) - climbing is second nature. whether it’s scaling trees, escaping danger, or using high surfaces for jukes (like in pirate bay), your claws are perfect for maneuvering. though half of the time it nerfed you... - blankets and pillows in short supply? no issue at all, your tail provides all the warmth and comfort you need. - everything you find precious or intriguing? marked. claw marks, scent traces,... you leave a little piece of yourself behind wherever you go, making sure everyone knows what’s yours.

dusekkar - finds you fascinating and feels bad that a creature like you got thrown into this game at the same time. thanks to it. - since i hc they have a soft spot for animals, he sometimes seeks you out in the cabin, not always to talk, sometimes just to sit in quiet company. - they really enjoy your presence, even when conversation isn't their cup of tea. your rambles, though? he likes them, actually. silly, nonsensical, fleeting thoughts, yet enough to ease the weight of hard times. - he asked, as polite as can be, if he could pat your head. you stared, blinked once, tilted your head just a fraction. - "…your ways are strange, yet not unkind. does touch hold meaning to your mind?" - half of the time you don't know what he really meant. through time spent with him, you start to catch their meaning,,, well kind of. you still need some time to piece it all together,,, - during rounds, he's extra careful with you, like a father tending to a child that strayed too close to the edge. always watching, always guiding. - even when he knows you've got this, he swears he's on the verge of a heart attack every time you say you're going to distract the killer. alone. - he's not particularly fond of your sleep schedule. wait... does it even exist? - because like, imagine him dragging himself out in the dead of night just to haul you back to the cabin or resorting to his staff to knock some sense into you. pain. - and the morning after,,, brace yourself. not only do you have to sit through his lecture, but also his endless rhymes. - ...you brought this upon yourself… no complaints. - he lets you in his room when he's not busy, and, without fail, you manage to mess up at least one thing every time/pos - surprisingly, though, he finds it quite amusing… even endearing.

taph - wait? what did you say? what- RED PANDA?? - straight-up obsessed/pos. wings twitchy. brain going brrrrrr. - at first, he just sits with you. silent. vibing. either absorbing your rants with the world's most serious thumbs-up, or just enjoying the quiet. not like you’d understand the rest of his signing anyway,,,, - he did try to teach you them once. it lasted three minutes before you got your mind wandering somewhere else. he hasn't tried since. just exaggerated gestures and drawings now. - he’s definitely thought about petting your fur. so soft. but every time, his hand just hovers,,, before he panics and pretends he wasn’t doing anything. - his wings? twitchy mess. every time you show up, they’re flapping like they’re trying to send morse code for 'what is this feeling'. with question marks,, - he tilts his head at you so often it’s like a reflex now. you say 'hi'? tilt. you drop a trinket? tilt. you exist? full head rotation like a confused raven he is. - 'best friends' happened casually. after committing mutual idiocy and surviving several questionable decisions. it just,, made sense(?) 'match my freak' kind of thing,, - you’re starting to understand his signs. 'thanks,' 'good job,' and the ever-popular 'SEND HELP IM DYIN-' - now he’s allowed to pat your fur. acts chill about it but he's melting inside when you purr and lean into his touches. - regularly uses your tail as a mattress. says nothing. just flops. it’s a routine at this point. - you once caught him trying to rate your purrs in a notebook. one page literally said '8.9/10 - warm, fuzzy, accidental snort at the end = bonus points.'/ref - drops his feathers on your nap spots. always at least one tucked neatly in your fluff. - if you misplace it? cue dramatic sulking. offer a hug? back to joy mode. - spectates when you’re distracting the killer like it’s reality tv. wings folded. mildly entertained. - once the rounds are done, you find silly and nice drawings tucked somewhere in your room. sometimes they're pinned to the wall, other times hidden under your pillow. - he once wrote 'red panda supremacy' on a wall with chalk. no explanation. refuses to admit it was him, even though you literally saw him do it. - he enjoys blowing up the killers' faces, yes, but if you're there? suddenly it’s all shits and giggles. he sets off a flashbang and turns to see you clapping like a seal. perfect day. - bonus points when he's setting traps and you’re just,.. sitting there. wide-eyed. watching like a suspiciously silent owl. sometimes you’re acting as lookout. - you’ve also definitely body-blocked a killer mid-trap setup once. you hissed. he waved. killer backed off. successful teamwork.

a/n; had a vc with my friends while playing forsaken and it was so fawking funny i can’t even type like a proper human anymore🥲🥲 also lost my voice from laughing too hard/nf btw the last part where raven boy’s setting a trap and reader body-blocks for him that was me and my friend using guest ヾ(≧▽≦*)o

[lkaruss]

An extensive KFP 4 rant (spoiler heavy)

So, Kung Fu Panda 4 was… an experience. It took about 3 glasses of whiskey to get through it.

There is so much wrong with this movie, from the pacing to lore breaking issues. However, this is an attempt at trying to formulate my opinions regarding the film, and explain why certain story decisions were detrimental.

My live reaction to the film:

The movie makes it clear right from the start that it was made for very young children. It’s filled to the brim with jokes. If there is a chance to make a joke, then there is a joke. Regardless if it's appropriate or if it hurts the story/lore/characters. In normal circumstances, this would be offset by the fact that the jokes are creative and unpredictable, but they aren’t. I would say most of them can be seen either from a mile away, or they just fall flat. I think I only managed to laugh once or twice when Po’s dads were doing something, but outside of that, the film couldn’t get a chuckle out of me. On the contrary, I found many to be cringe, and some even made me uncomfortable.

But why am I talking so much about the jokes? In the previous Kung Fu Panda films, the jokes were used to break tension. The way the seriousness of the story and the jokes were in harmony is what made those films so memorable and impactful. The story (and films) took itself seriously, but it would sprinkle in jokes that fit the universe, the situation, and most importantly originated from the scene themselves. 

Compared to this, the jokes in KFP 4 are, unoriginal, forced, and usually can be traced back to pop-culture. The last one being important as the original Kung Fu Panda films stayed away from referencing pop-culture as it would break the immersion and authenticity of the setting.

This ties into the ERA that these films depict.

Setting

Based on my limited understanding, the original films have done an excellent job at depicting a world that is supposedly set in an authentic ancient China. From the way names are handled, to symbolisms, everything was well done.

The same cannot be said about Kung Fu Panda 4.

I’m not an expert on chinese culture, but from what chinese friends have told me, „Juniper” city doesn’t sound Chinese at all, or has a meaning in Chinese. It’s essentially a Latin word for a common plant that can be found all over the globe.

The architecture of the city is also questionable. It’s trying to give off a metropolitan feel, which doesn’t fit the ERA. Additionally, the architecture of the buildings is odd. It’s like a mesh of the architecture of several Asian cultures.

Then there are some of the names. „Steve” and „Scott” to be specific. These are the names of some masters and I don’t think I need to explain why these don’t fit the setting at all.

I was constantly questioning what movie I was watching as it was hard to believe this is Kung Fu Panda.

Identity crysis

What made me question the film’s identity the most however is the story.

This 4th film felt like a 1st installment rather than a sequel. It conveniently disregards everything from the previous movies that would contradict its plot and world.

The film immediately starts with Shifu coming out of nowhere and saying Po has to choose a new Dragon Warrior at that very moment. Not only did this feel incredibly random, but it’s also thematically incorrect.

First off, why is Shifu saying this? Why would he want Po to pass on his „title” if it's destiny? Why would he want him to do it now? Why did he not even consider ANYONE FROM THE FIVE and instead got 5 randos as candidates out of the blue?

The issue with the whole premise is incredibly flawed. Let me explain…

Po was chosen as the dragon warrior in the first film. There he proved his worth as such. The key to this is that he is the chosen one because it’s his destiny to deal with threats that no one else can. 

This doesn’t necessarily mean that he is the best. He is the guy who is and will be in the right place at the right time, with the right tools to deal with threats that no one else can deal with. But I digress, it's a different topic.

The point is that Po’s role as the Dragon Warrior is his destiny. The „title” merely represents that role in the world. So you can pass the title to anyone you want, but that does not change the fact that due to destiny, it’s still going to be Po’s role.

This is not just a coincidence though. Po has shown many times that he has a very open view of the world. This is then combined with his traits of being is warm, outgoing, energetic, friendly, goofy, and unorthodox. He represents the Dragon, Yang in the Yin Yang.

All of this is important to understanding why there is only 1 dragon warrior, and that is Po. End of the story.

The film however completely throws all of this out the window and goes with the new Dragon Warrior plot anyway.

That means the new Dragon Warrior is literally right there next to him. Master Tigress.

Now you might be asking why that would be the case.

This film, although throws out all the symbolisms of the previous films, still shouldn’t disregard the other characters that are around Po.

The 2 characters work like the 2 sides of the Yin-Yang, as complementary forces. They are opposite forces that need each other in order to create balance. 

Her influence is extremely necessary throughout the three films, particularly the second and third. It is her companionship, her support, and her constant push against Po’s natural instincts that lead to the best outcome.

Po has achieved a lot of spiritual enlightenment and character development. A lot of it through his own means, but without Tigress he wouldn't be where he is right now.

The Yang is the strongest when it contains the Yin, and the Yin is the strongest when it contains the Yang.

But this dynamic goes both ways. Although we mostly see the effects of this relationship on Po as the films focus on him, it has also changed Tigress. This leads to her opening up more and being more expressive as the films went on, giving us glimpses into the compassionate person she truly is.

While symbolically she is not the dragon, the 4th film establishes that it doesn’t care about the symbolisms or anything that the previous films have established. So naturally a character that compliments Po this well,  should be put into the spotlight and get the character development that she deserves. A character that went through serious changes, but is still left incomplete. You might as well make her the new Dragon Warrior then.

She - altough deserved the title the most even in the first film - lacked the ability to see the world from a perspective that's required to handle certain situations. The Dragon Warrior is way more than just being the perfect warrior. Po's presence was necessary for her to change her attitude. Leading to her slowly becoming her best self. Knowing all of this, it's not such a wild thought that if there has to be a new person who takes over that role, then Tigress would be a great choice for that.

But what is there for her to learn from Po? Spirituality.

Tigress has always been a grounded, by-the-book character. This can be mostly attributed to her upbringing. Her changing and becoming more open, seeing things differently would have been something interesting to explore, and this would also take care of the issue of the „new trilogy” copying the original trilogy’s main character development.

However, the film completely ignores her existence, and the new Dragon Warrior is instead a random Zootopia fox.

The (new) deuteragonist

There is so little to say about Zhen. The best thing I could compare her to is an untreated wooden board. 

It’s rough, full of splinter, and there are many like it. Probably one of the most cliché characters I have seen in a very long time.

She is generic, has an overused „misunderstood fox thief” trope, and a character arc that is so predictable that we all knew what was going to happen just from reading the film’s synopsis at the beginning of 2023.

Her backstory is a copy of Tigress’ except if Shifu was evil. An orphan who is taken in by a master who emotionally neglects her. Said orphan doing what her master wants in order to be loved/accepted by said master. Except that Zhen doesn’t seem to have any attachment or loyalty to the Chameleon. So the „Sad backstory” fails to garner any sympathy towards the character.

Her dynamic with Po is non-existent, which is why their „friendship” is forced. The creators tried so hard to make the two bond, that they forgot to give them time, shared experiences, or anything that would resemble an emotional connection between them. They just quickly went over everything that they have in common in a dialogue and that’s it. There was no prerequisite completed that would make Po care about Zhen or vice versa.

Furthermore, Zhen doesn’t fit the traits that the dragon has, she is not spiritual either or has an open view of the world. So why is she the new one then?

And I wanted to avoid talking about this, but the character is a textbook Mary Sue.

per wikipedia

Zhen is more than capable in a fight to keep up with Po, even though it was not shown why she is so good at fighting. One thing is for sure, she shouldn’t know Kung Fu as she certainly didn’t learn it from her „master” the Chameleon if the film’s plot has any consistency.

She is not only able to manipulate Chi, but also to use Po’s staff without knowing anything about either of those.

A previous character’s role being retconned so that she can take it for herself (See the rant about the Dragon Warrior title above)

She always gets along with characters that matter, getting what she wants. 

No real character drawbacks.

A throwaway character like this, should be a minor support character, not the new main protagonist for crying out loud.

Her inadequacies are so blatant as a character, that no wonder they didn’t even want to have at the very least Tigress in the film as Zhen would immediately become irrelevant to the audience. They put all the spotlight they could on her, at the expense of the story, and in the end achieved nothing in return.

Tell me with a straight face that a character that has an entire movie focusing on them - who still remains a generic, boring character by the end, without any story potential - should be the new main protagonist. The fact that most people don’t even refer to the character by her name, but by the actress’ name Awkwafina should tell you everything about how memorable she is.

Most new characters and animal designs don’t fit the KFP art style.

A good example of this is Zhen.

This is how a fox would look like in Nico Marlet’s KFP style:

And this is what we got:

Sorry, wrong picture. I meant this:

Now, I’m not a character designer, or a professional artist, I only draw a couple of his characters, but I can see that this is way too far off from his work. If not from personal experience, then from the interviews that Nico Marlet himself gave.

The same issue applies to the villain of the film, the chameleon, but atleast with her they tried (somewhat).

The Villain

They say a film is as good, as its villain. This seems to be true in the case of this film too.

The Chameleon sucks.

She has no connection to anyone from the cast. She has no emotional leverage or pressure on the cast. She is not scary or powerful enough to make the audience care about the cast. Her motivation is so terrible, it might be one of the reasons why the Five was kept out of the film because their mere existence single-handedly demolishes her reason for breaking bad.

Outside of this, the character is unoriginal and uninspired. She basically can “lick” people and steal their Kung Fu? I honestly don't know how to put this into words because it doesnt make any lick of sense (I did the funny). If anything it's a budget version of Kai.

They didn’t even bother to give her a name.

What I will say though is that Viola Davis did what she could with what she was given. I found it amusing that she managed to give the chameleon those serious villainous vibes, while at the same time, the character is a joke. If that’s not a testament to the voice actor’s abilities then I don’t know what is. She was definitely wasted on this role.

As for the “returning villains”. I knew they were only there for cash-grab from the moment they said that all of them would return. Shen, is dead. He is not a Kung Fu master, he doesn’t have any connection with Chi, and he hasn’t been banished to the spirit realm. Then there is Kai, whose soul/spirit doesn’t exist anymore.

The only one that could ever return was Tai Lung. However, due to the gravity of his character, if he does return it has to be done perfectly regardless of what direction his character takes.

Now, many of us knew from the start that whatever they were gonna do with him would be bad (I mean there is a massive beef between Tigress and him, and yet she is not even in the film), but I think I speak for all of us when I say that they managed to somehow lowball it even worse than expected.

Basically, the Chameleon brings him back from the spirit realm, licks the Kung Fu out of him, he says like 3-4 lines, and returns to the spirit realm…. what the actual f*ck.

I’m sure I don’t need to go into a 10-paragraph rant on how much storytelling potential was wasted with this, because everyone knows. From reconciling with his dad, to her little sister having a crazy beef with him, to having to accept all the wrongs he did, accepting that he is not the Dragon warrior etc. etc. etc…

There was always only 1 chance of bringing him back. If he came back in a new film or show (again) it wouldn’t have anywhere near the same impact as it should, and it would also feel weird to the audience.

DreamWorks, you had 1 chance to bring this guy back, and you wasted it all on this film.

The non-existent magic system.

Or rather, how this film didn’t care about it at all.

Kung Fu Panda has a relatively grounded world. It’s animals that do Kung Fu based on their natural abilities. The closest thing we got to supernatural was Chi, but it was well handled in the 3rd film in my opinion.

Chi is life force and not magic. This means if you use it, you are exhausting your own life force. This means you would only use it in certain situations, such as healing someone who is mortally wounded, or perhaps to enhance an attack in a desperate fight.

The film doesn’t care about this and handles it as just a regular, inexhaustible force of energy. This can mostly be seen with Po as he uses it whenever he feels like it.

The other type of magic is what the Chameleon is using. It’s not explained, or shown how it works. It’s just there to further progress the plot so that the character can take the Kung Fu from others. (Seriously, how does that work?)

The Kung Fu action

The fight scenes were also a downgrade compared to the previous films.

In KFP 4 they felt less energetic, less grounded, and overall too cartoonish. As an example, Po can jump ridiculously high because… I don’t know, I guess the film just ignores the fact that he is Panda who sometimes even struggles to pull himself up to a rooftop. 

The previous films incorporated the strengths and weaknesses of the animals that fought. Po is not very mobile, but he is very durable, and his fighting style compliments this. However, when he really needs to get somewhere, his lack of mobility is then offset by his friends, the Furious Five.

The Furious Five

Their absence can be severely felt throughout the movie. That is because in their place was a generic character that had forced interactions with Po.

They have great synergy with him, that cannot be replicated, however minor their role might be sometimes. They serve as a great way to fill in those empty spots in the story, and to elevate the villain. Additionally, their fight scenes are entertaining and help to spice up the choreography.

Although they are great companions, if the film really doesn’t have the time to spare for them, then it's understandable if they aren’t around. However the same cannot be said about Tigress.

A Kung Fu Panda film has to have Po and Tigress interact, due to the reasons already explained above regarding her, and also because of the following:

They are direct opposites, which is why their relationship is so entertaining, regardless if you look at them as platonic best friends, or as a potential couple. 

Po is warm, outgoing, brash, energetic, friendly, goofy, and unorthodox, however, he is also serious when needed. While Tigress is introverted, calm, calculated, passive, and intuitive, but deep down she is also a very compassionate and conflicted person that we rarely see. This is then in conjunction with the emotional bond that the previous films have built up between them. These are the reasons why just putting these two in a room is enough to create entertaining scenarios. They add a lot of fun, heartfelt, and emotional moments to every film.

Whenever Po is facing a problem, she is right there to help him through it, whether by talking it through or by beating some sense into him (literally).

She has always been quintessential in Po’s development and motivations.

Memberberries, Memberberries everywhere…

It was jarring to see the film disregarding the existence of the previous movies to justify its plot, but at the same time heavily relied on tropes, and scenes from said films. I’m not kidding when I say that there were moments that were ripped straight out of them.

One of those moments is the standoff between Po and Zhen before the final fight. Zhen wants to stop Po to avoid him getting hurt, but the fight ends with her hugging Po….

Yeah… it was a blatant copy of the prison scene from the 2nd film. However, I think the 2 scenes here perfectly encapsulate why the previous films worked, and why the 4th film doesn’t.

The prison scene in the 2nd film was essentially an emotionally unstable Po being held back by a caring Tigress. Po is so focused on getting to the truth that he forgets the reason they are there, and would put his and his friends’ lives in jeopardy to know what happened to him and his parents. So much so that Po was ready to get beaten to a pulp by Tigress instead of staying down there and waiting until the Five finished the task.

But instead of that happening, Tigress saw how lost Po was, and realized she needed to calm him down to help him understand their situation. And so the person who has always been portrayed as an unfeeling, hardcore, essentially perfect warrior gave Po an unexpected hug and told him he is too important for her to lose him.

This moment has gravity and weight, because of how she is perceived, because of how Po views her, and because Tigress was forced out of her comfort zone to emotionally connect with Po, to help him. It’s a moment of pure comradery and care towards each other that ascends the situation they are in. It’s a moment that in many ways defined their relationship going forward.

In comparison to this, the scene that copied this in the 4th film has none of the emotional underlinings that I discussed, and so it falls flat and feels cringe rather than heartfelt and warm. This is mainly due to Po and Zhen having no connection, bond, or reason to care about each other. But then there is the other element that I discussed when talking about the villain. Po is in no real danger, and it never felt like he was.

Production

From the early leaks, it was blatantly obvious that the production of this film was rushed. Between the artificially forced plot, the generic character designs, the non-existence of the Five, the lack of time, money, commitment, and care was apparent.

However, due to an interview that the Co-director did with some folks on the subreddit discord, light was shed on the nightmare that was the production. I won’t go into details, as everyone should read the Q&A for themselves, but I’ll touch upon a point that was brought up as an excuse for this film turning out the way it did.

(this is a real concept art from the production btw)

Some are saying the reason the film turned like this was due to the budget restriction. That they simply didn’t have the money to have characters like Tigress return due to Angelina Jolie costing a ridiculous amount of money.

But then I have to ask: They had the budget for characters like Shifu (Dustin Hoffman), Po’s dads (James Hong & Bryan Cranston), Tai Lung (Ian McShane), who in the end turned out to be completely irrelevant to the story, but not at the very least for Tigress (Angelina Jolie)?

I’m not saying that you cannot make a story with these characters, because you obviously could make a great one. What I’m trying to point out is if you have such a limited budget, are you really going to blow it all on actors who play characters that essentially add nothing to the story? This is why I call bullshit on them not getting at least Angelina Jolie back to play Tigress. 

Let’s not even mention how you could always recast these characters anyway (although it's clear that the execs are the ones forcing the use of A-list actors).

So for the sake of the argument, let’s come up with a story, that has a reason to exist, has characters that you can do something with, and fits the budget that you are given.

For me - considering that this film was essentially a buddy adventure film - it's an easy task. Just have Po help Tigress explore her origins. I know it's cheesy and basic, but at the very least you have what’s needed for a decent story that would be able to expand on a beloved character, and even help develop Po into a spiritual leader as he has to aid her best friend.

Another idea is what my friend and I had come up with. Have Po bring Lei Lei (now much older, and is a student under him and Tigress) on an adventure. You wouldn’t even need Tigress to appear in the film, because these characters would reference her many times. Lei Lei is a copy of Po in the sense that she wanted to do Kung Fu because she puts Tigress on a pedestal. Because of how influential she was in her life, Lei Lei’s personality is a copy of Tigress’.

I’m just shooting ideas here, but at least these wouldn’t ruin the continuity of the franchise and would be able to navigate the studio limitations that the creators had to face. (from the ones we know of).

"Limitation is the mother of creativity"

KFP 4 was a shallow, artificial story that didn't add anything to the franchise, only degraded it and stripped it of it's remaining value. It's missing the foundations of a KFP film, such as the heart, artistry, and warmth. It's not unexpected as none of the original brains worked on this film.

So what can be expected from this franchise going forward?

Well, not much honestly. It was a weak attempt by DreamWorks to continue the main storyline, not for the sake of the story, but to milk as much money out of it as they can. Even though with a little bit of effort they really could have at least made a good film in the end. However, between the incompetence of the decision makers, the rushed production, and the new people not knowing much about the franchise, that was never going to happen.

The only thing that we can hope for is a spinoff (which is about a decade late at this point), that focuses on Tigress. It’s the only way I see anything for this franchise going forward and hopefully, this film served as a wakeup call for the executives.

Thank you to those who had the patience to read through my inessential rant. Let me know what you guys think about the film.

[chososcamgirl]

𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆 - y/n’s cattery!

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m.list

background !

you and maki’s first ever interaction was at the age of 5 when maki pushed you off the playground slide in kindergarten. the stunt of hers left you both in tears as you had a grazed knee and she had a scolding in which after she ended up apologising to you. since then you guys have been bestfriends ever since. you and mai were also close but nothing could compare to the friendship you and maki shared. when you both turned 15, maki moved into the town over so you both went to different high schools. you both still kept in touch by calling every night - discussing the different gossip and one another’s school. alongside this you both met up frequently - every sunday to be accurate because you both could not stand to be physically distant with eachother.

the little rendezvous both of you held still continued until after you both graduated from high school. you both ended up attending eachothers because the ceremonies were a day apart - maki’s being first. after the ceremony, maki introduced you to yuta, panda & toge in which you called out toge as to why he was wearing what looked like his pyjamas under his robe (it was in fact his pyjamas.) after a bit of back and forth banter and laughter, maki invited you to join them for dinner together to which on you agreed to. after 5 courses of pure goodness, 32 dirty plates, 2 attempts of a food fight (toge being the prime suspect for both), some underage drinking - mostly from panda getting crunk after 4 bottles of soju - and many many embarrassing stories shared later, you guys all headed home, full of food and joy. you didn’t realise how fun maki’s other friends were. sure you heard stories here and there but experiencing a night out with them was for sure in your top 10 most cherishable memories.

you would’ve never imagined being hungover at your graduation. even you took 3 ibuprofen in the morning, your head was still banging and it was your turn next up to claim your certificate. suddenly your name was called and an eruption of screams came from the crowd. not only did the front row consist of your parents and family, but also maki, toge, yuta and panda in which the loudest of screams and cheers came from them. later on maki told you that the three guys were also planning on attending the same college as you and maki. maki who is studying law, yuta who is studying occupational therapy, panda & toge who are both studying finance and commerce, and you who is studying veterinary science.

during summer of that year, the 5 of you became inseparable, doing anything and everything together. you realised that everyone had a part in your friendgroup. maki whilst keeping the role of your bestfriend is also the “mom friend” and always keeping everyone in line - in another words from being arrested. yuta is the empath, you could always go to him whenever you needed an unbias opinion or just to rant - he always reassures you that if you need to let go he’s always there and his advice is always understanding. panda is the party animal, you always know it’s gonna be a good time if panda is there. the most memorable moments are always with him and he is the literal embodiment of gaf. and finally toge. toge is your partner in crime, you grew closest to him over the summer. you want to go egg your ex’s house? he’s there with shopping bags full of eggs. you want to bully some kids on roblox? he’s there with two headsets. you want to get drunk and forget about everything? he’s there with panda and three fake id’s. needless to say that summer was unforgettable.

after summer, you guys found an apartment complex that were currently looking out for people to rent the two rooms available. of course you guys immediately jumped onto it. what’s the next best thing living with your best friends? living 4 doors down! you guys were going to make these next couple years the best ever.

fun facts !

ᨘ໑▸ the characters included in this post are all aged 19-20

ᨘ໑▸ on the third day of college toge and panda got banned from the campus library after playing penis.

ᨘ໑▸ you, toge and panda always have a big going on and it used to concern poor yuta at the start because he thought it was actually serious.

ᨘ໑▸ panda, yuta and toge live together in one room and you and maki live together, along with your tabby cat called ‘beck’.

ᨘ໑▸ you guys all do grocery shopping together, but panda always comes to your apartment to steal food because theirs is always gone halfway through the week.

ᨘ໑▸ there once was a big ass spider in your apartment so you called toge to come and kill it but as soon as he walked in it jumped on his face and he scream was so high it was comparable to a dog whistle. you also recorded the whole thing and mention it atleast twice a week.

a/n: there is a love interest in each group :3

#𝐂𝐀𝐓 𝐂𝐀𝐅𝐄

synopsis ; the season of sun-kissed oceans and golden-hued moments is before you! however being a broke college student is not an ideal look to have, especially at your age. desperately seeking solace from financial woes, you and your bestfriend stumble upon an unexpected opportunity - a cat cafe. crafting lattes and pampering purring patrons seems easy enough, right? that fantasy lasts about one day before reality claws in.

🏷️taglist: @coquetteslvt @aliventboo @izakyun @luvvmae @tuihiatus @soonajeeme @ascybous @rotten1angel @catobsessedlady @myguumi @enhleui @viviennevianna @spacebaby1 @iheartlinds @haikyuu-tothetop @mua-for-now @waytootiredforthisss @j2upiters

[ayyy-pee]

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 3: 𝑳𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝑮𝒐𝒆𝒔 𝑶𝒏

Discord 18+ - Twitter - Previous Chapter - Next Chapter - Series Masterlist

Pairing: Choso x f! Reader

Summary: Things take a turn.

Chapter Warnings: Angst...

WC: 6.6k

Choso Art By:NC9__

**While not all chapters contain adult content, the themes of this story are targeted towards adults, so minors DNI please.

No one warned you just how difficult university would be.

Your first semester of college has been kicking your ass in all honesty. Between your art projects, extracurriculars and trying to maintain some semblance of a social life, you’re completely burnt out. It was quite the adjustment from high school where teachers stayed on you about your school work and assignments. You'd learned very quickly that now, one was responsible for you but you.

At 19, it was a true test of your maturity. And you were failing that test quite miserably.

“I have one last project due and then I’ll finally be able to breathe. This professor has been up my ass all semester. I can’t wait for winter break and to be done with his class.” You set your bags down on your desk before you adjust your cell phone between your cheek and shoulder. “Sorry to rant. How are you all doing?”

A deep voice rumbles on the other end of the line with a laugh that makes your cheeks warm every time you hear it.

“Hey, it’s no problem. I’m just happy to hear from you. At least you’re letting me know what to realistically expect when I start school next year.” You hear shifting on the other side and you know he’s getting comfortable, probably in bed. “Yuji’s good. He’s also getting ready for winter break so he’ll be home most of the time. Eso’s been struggling with algebra, but Kechizu is surprisingly good at it. He’s been helping him study and–”

You listen closely, hanging on every word falling from your friend’s lips as he catches you up on his brother’s lives. It’s been a few months since you’ve spoken to Choso over the phone. While you’d keep in touch after the summer months until you were back on the beach, you’ve both been busy with your new normal. You haven’t seen Choso either, your first year of college being surprisingly more difficult than you’d expected so you opted for summer classes in hopes to maintain your GPA instead of taking your annual trip with your parents.

It was the first time since you were 9 that you hadn’t gone back to the beach. Your parents reluctantly returned without you your first summer in university, only after you had pushed them to enjoy a romantic vacation together for once. You remember the pictures you’d received from your mother the night they got into town. She was quick to spam you with pictures of your little pink haired friend who had grown even taller since the last time you’d seen him. She’d also sent a photo of all four of the brothers sitting at your dinner table, just as they always did on your first night in town since you were all kids.

It was reminiscent of all the summers you’d spent together growing up, except there was a noticeable gap where you’d usually be sitting, right between Choso and Yuji. As your eyes roamed over every detail, every way the boys had grown and changed, you couldn’t help the pang of disappointment you felt from missing out on this. You wanted to see them, hug them, be with them and enjoy your summer together. But you couldn’t. And it hurt more than you wanted to admit.

It hurt that you wouldn’t spend days and nights at the beach. You wouldn’t be taking Yuji all over the town with you and spoiling him rotten like you always have. You wouldn’t be climbing out of your bedroom window to sneak out to parties. You wouldn’t be working the summer at Panda’s, closing shop and sitting at the shoreline to watch the sunsets with Choso.

Choso…

Your eyes were locked on the tall figure in the photo and you found yourself pinching your thumb and index finger together, pressing them to your phone screen before expanding and zooming in on the picture. He was wearing his signature tiny smile that he reserved only for you and your family. Those same pigtails that have sat atop his head since he was 10 years old were still there, but that baby face was long gone. He was all chiseled jawline and sharp cheekbones now, even more handsome than when you saw him last summer, if possible, and your heart fluttered at the thought. 

You stared at those dark eyes that had peered into yours that cool summer night last year as he leaned closer, those soft lips that pressed against your mouth as you exchanged your first kisses with each other. Those lips…they consumed your thoughts. Those lips that uttered those three words that still kept you up at night as they echoed through your mind:

“Just one more.”

Heat rushed to your cheeks, to the tips of your ears and you could hear the blood rushing through your body as the memories played clearly through your mind.

The slight tilt of Choso’s head as he deepened the kiss just barely. The way you gasped when his tongue gently ran along the seam of your lip. How he sighed, low and deep when he heard the little sounds you were making and all because of him.

Neither you nor Choso have spoken about your first kiss since it happened. He’d walked you home from the beach that night, hugged you tight one last time and then you spent the remainder of the night clutching at your chest, desperately willing your heart to calm down.

“You still there?” Choso’s voice pulls you from your trip down memory lane and you clear your throat to buy yourself time to gather your thoughts.

“Yeah, sorry. I’m just…I’m sad. I’m glad everyone’s doing well, but I almost feel like I missed a part of that because I didn’t go back to the beach for the summer.” You fall back onto your bed with a groan. “I miss you.”

The words fall from your lips easily, though your eyes widen when you realize what you’ve said. While you had never been one to sugarcoat your words with Choso, you couldn’t help but feel as though those simple words held more weight since the kiss.

Choso doesn’t seem to be having the same thoughts, because he quickly replies with an, “I miss you, too.”

And just like that, the conversation picks right back up.

It’s easy with Choso. It’s always easy. You sometimes forget just how easy it is.

- - - - - - - -

That breather you thought you’d be getting for winter break? Yeah, that didn’t happen.

Could it be because your first year of college hadn’t gone according to plan which resulted in you ending the year with a lower than desired grade point average? Who could say? That wasn’t important anyway. The important thing was that you’d opted to take Winter classes as well. Because your life wasn’t already hell Monday through Friday during the spring and fall semesters. Not to mention the summer classes you’d taken earlier in the year that had kept you from being able to tag along on your annual beach trip.

College was turning out to be more of a drag than anything. Luckily, you had made plenty of friends here that made the fact you were missing out on these things a lot more bearable.

It was during the Winter semester that you’d met Iori Utahime, a beautiful young woman with a curious scar across her face that somehow only added to her stunning looks. The two of you had quickly hit it off, both wanting to take your studies seriously and needing someone to hold the other accountable for reaching their goal. Utahime wanted to pursue a career in music and while your majors differed, you were still artists just the same. 

Your similarities didn’t end there either. You shared core classes and unfortunately also shared struggling GPAs, which only brought you closer to each other. So when you found yourselves paired up for a project for one of your Winter courses, you soon found yourselves together more often than not.

And she’d introduced you to more friends as time went on.

There was Satoru. Satoru was goofy. That was the best way to describe him. He never took anything seriously, because everything was easy for him. Seriously. He was a genius who never needed to study because he just knew he’d ace his exams. Because of this, he was all about enjoying the college experience.

You could catch Satoru at every party, the center of attention everywhere he went. He was Mr. Popular. There was no one on campus who did not know who Satoru Gojo was. Almost every student on campus either wanted him or wanted to be him. And although you didn't share the same desires as them, you could see the appeal. 

Satoru was tall. Way too tall. And had the strangest hair color you’d ever seen– stark white and so messy. He claimed it was natural, though you had your doubts. In a way, his hair reminded you oddly of Choso, if only because you could only think about how it was the total opposite of your friends. And his eyes…they also reminded you of Choso. Because they were as blue as the ocean you’d sat in front of many times with him. As blue as the waters that had brought you to Choso in the first place. 

But that was where the similarities ended. Satoru was carefree, going with the flow whenever he could. He never planned for anything, he just let things happen. And he bugged Utahime in a way you couldn’t understand. It’s not really like he had to do much in the first place to get under her skin. All he needed to do was breathe within the same vicinity as Utahime and she was going ballistic. And Satoru seemed to love that.

There was Suguru, Satoru’s best friend. Or more? You could never quite tell with those two. He also reminded you of Choso in a way. Not physically, but general demeanor. Suguru was quieter, more observant than Satoru. He was thoughtful and kind, not abrasive at all; soft spoken in a way that made you feel as though he truly cared for you. And you liked that about him.

When out, you’d often find yourself next to Suguru. His presence was warm and comforting, almost familiar. You felt safe and protected with him and you knew that if Suguru was with you, you could just count on him to look out for you. You’d grown close fairly quickly and had established a friendship outside of your immediate friend group. You spent a lot of time together, but there was never any connection between you two aside from friendship.

And then there was the last of your group – Shoko. Clearly there was something going on between her and Utahime. But if you asked either of them, they'd quickly deny it. None of you were dumb, even with your low GPAs. The stolen glances, the touches they thought you all didn’t notice, the way one always ended up leaving exactly three minutes before the other decided to call it a night.

You found it very amusing, the way they thought none of you knew what was going on.

Their situation made you think more about Choso and how he –

Wait.

Why were you thinking about Choso so much? Why did everything suddenly remind you of him? You couldn’t think about any of your new friends without comparing them to Choso. Even after all this time.

After your last summer vacation, Choso had spent a good amount of time on your mind. But it’s been almost two years now. A second summer vacation was coming up and you were once again abandoning plans to go to the beach with your family and opting to take more summer courses to boost your GPA.

And it wasn’t as though you’d spoken to Choso much, either. Between your studies and his own life happenings, there wasn’t much time to chat. You carve out time when you can and appreciate the usual nightcap you both share every so often. But you're busy with your studies and Choso…well…

When your second year of college began, that was also when Choso had broken the sad news to you that college would be put on hold for him indefinitely.

“It’s my dad,” he’d told you. “Fucker just up and left and we haven’t heard from him since. Not that I should be surprised. I guess I'm only shocked it took him so long.”

You could hear the words come through gritted teeth, how he’d tried to hide the venom that dripped from each syllable. He was beyond pissed. You knew Choso better than you knew any other friend. There was no better way to get on his bad side than to mess with his beloved siblings. 

But you knew more than anything that Choso was disappointed, crestfallen even.

For Choso, getting out of that small beach town and getting an education was his path to a better life for himself and for his brothers. His father taking that from him felt like the ultimate betrayal. What could you even say to lift his spirits at that point?

“I'm so sorry, Cho. Fuck, I'm sorry.” 

It didn't feel like enough.

You checked in with him when you could. And he checked in with you when he could, but he was busy working. He’d accepted a full time position as a manager at Panda’s and had even told you a spot would be there for when you returned the next summer.

But it looked like someone else would have to fill the position this year.

You missed your vacations back to your second home. You missed the warmth of the sand beneath your feet and the smell of the salty ocean air as you all spent your days at the beach. You missed scooping ice cream at Panda’s and doodling the horizon in your sketchbook from your spot behind the counter when work was slow. You missed sneaking out to bonfires and having Choso toss you his sweater the moment you landed in his arms in nothing but the shorts and bikini tops he so hated.

You missed Choso.

That last night at the beach revealed to you for the first time that you may have feelings for your best friend that are more than just friendship. Freshly 18 year old you with almost no prior dating history hardly knew what those feelings meant. But almost 20 year old you, well it's been loud and clear for some time that this has slowly become more than some childish crush. 

You like Choso. 

The whispered call of your name pulls you from your spiraling thoughts and you look up to find Satoru’s bright eyes staring questioningly at you from across the table. You’d all met up in the library to study for your exam coming up at the end of the week. Of course he was checking in because you’d zoned out in the middle of your cram session to daydream about your long distance crush.

Except, that wasn’t why Satoru was checking in at all.

It’s only when Satoru waves his hand next to him that you see another tall figure standing beside the table. Your eyes roam up his form until they land on his face. And it surprises you when you feel your heart kickstart and begin racing.

Because you thought only Choso could get that reaction from you. 

“This is Kaito,” Satoru introduces him and Kaito smiles, eyes locked on yours and you think you can hear your heart pounding in your chest.

Kaito is tall, slender, but not in the way Satoru is. If anything, you’d say he has the same body type as Suguru. He’s lean. You can tell from the way his clothes accentuate his form that he’s fit.  And he’s got the most beautiful smile, teeth so brilliantly white that you’re nervous to see how brightly they shine in the sun. Gorgeous emerald green eyes sit beneath long black lashes and wow, he is really fucking good looking.

He politely introduces himself, running his hand through a messy black wolfcut as he takes the seat right beside you after Suguru heads to his next class. 

You all resume studying shortly after Satoru’s friend’s arrival. Kaito seems to fit right in, quickly becoming friendly with the rest of the group and you. But you soon notice that Kaito has taken quite a liking to you.

Again, 20 year old you is not as clueless as you used to be and the attention he focuses on you is giving you an insane amount of butterflies.

You catch his little glimpses at you from the corner of your eye, the way he’s quick to lean over and help you resolve an equation you were stuck on, the way he never breaks eye contact with you when you’re speaking with him. Like every word that leaves your mouth is the most important thing he’s ever heard.

“So yeah, that’s why hot cheetos are like the best chip there are.” You finish your rant, beaming because you finally got to tell someone your true feelings about this.

“Absolutely…fascinating…” Utahime comments sarcastically. She’d stopped listening to your rambling ages ago, nose buried in her textbook.

Shoko and Satoru had left to get refreshments so unfortunately for them, they'd missed the entire thing.

But Kaito, you’ve got his full attention. “No, really. It’s truly fascinating. I’d love to hear more.”

His grin has your tummy squeezing, that sweet tickle returning and you find yourself smiling right back despite your little epiphany about your feelings regarding your childhood friend just moments before Kaito showed up.

“Yeah?”

“Definitely.”

A loud slurping can be heard from across the table, effectively popping the little bubble that you and Kaito had suddenly found yourselves in. On the other side of the table sits Satoru, back from his trip to the cafe, guzzling a sweet juice while he watches you and Kaito talk over the rim of his glasses. Next to him, Utahime’s face is twisted into a look of pure hatred and disgust. Satoru ignores it.

“Y’all should go out,” Satoru suggests casually, like he’s talking about something as unimportant as the weather. “Talk about animal crackers or whatever the hell.”

Shoko snorts as she discreetly slides a snack over to Utahime while no one is looking. Except everyone sees it anyway because these two are so fucking obvious.

“Yeah, go out,” Shoko also chimes in. “Think you two would make a great couple.”

Your face ignites with heat, the sudden idea making you want to kick Satoru and Shoko under the table.

But Kaito smirks, eyes holding your gaze like they have been this entire time and he says, “I’d like that. Can I?”

You glance at Utahime who stares at you in surprise. 

“Um…can you what?” You question, trying to buy yourself time to think.

“Can I take you out? Like, on a date.” His response is quick. It’s so easy for him. He just spits it out and says what he wants. And you’re sitting here still freaking out just over Satoru’s suggestion.

“I…”

“If I bring hot cheetos with me, would that make it more tempting?” He’s so charming, and cute, and sweet and–

Ugh, what reason do you have to say no to him?

The sudden vision of pigtails flashes through your mind. And suddenly, the excitement you were feeling seems to fall away. And Kaito seems to sense it, because his grin falters a little, becoming just a small smile on his lips and he simply nods and gives you a “sure” when you ask him, “Can I get back to you?”

- - - - - - - -

“I met someone today,” you speak quietly into the phone, lying in bed after leaving your study date with your friends. You’re nervous. Probably because you’re testing the waters here. Probably because your walk back to your dorm after Kaito had asked you out was eye opening. 

Can you really open yourself to date someone else seriously when your thoughts are plagued by another man? Can you open yourself to the possibility of being with someone else when the person you want to be with is hundreds of miles away, in some little beach town?

Because that's what you've come to realize. You want to be with Choso. 

You just need to know if he feels the same way you do. You have an idea of how Choso feels about you based on the last time you’d seen each other. But that doesn’t make you feel any less like digging a hole in the ground and burying yourself in embarrassment thinking about bringing any of this up. 

“Oh yeah? Another new friend?” Choso asks distantly. He’s currently at Panda’s closing shop, so he’s got you on speaker while he completes his nightly tasks. You were happy (maybe too happy) when he'd answered your call tonight. 

“Sort of a friend, sure…He’s nice…”

You’re hoping he’ll take the hint quickly here.

But when Choso just gives you an absentminded “that’s cool”, you know you’ve only got half of his attention. And you want all of it.

“Yeah. His name is Kaito. Really nice guy.” And it’s true. You think Kaito is nice, but you think Choso is nicer. That's not to say you're not into Kaito either. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t interested in him. But you’d also be lying if you said you weren’t interested in Choso as well. Maybe more than you are Kaito. Because for you, you’re pretty sure it will always be Choso. Even though you've never had anyone else, you know you don't need to. It's Choso for you.

That is why your thoughts have been consumed with him. This revelation has been so freeing.

You just need to know if he feels the same. 

“Glad you’re meeting new people.”

He’s still distracted, the sounds of him pushing the chairs around the store’s lobby echoing through the phone. You didn’t want to have to show your hand so quickly, but you’re tired from a long day of studying and tired from years of beating around the bush. It’s been over a decade of your feelings slowly building for Choso and now your heart is ready to burst. You have no choice but to push this conversation along a little faster.

“Yeah, his name is Kaito. He asked me out on a date actually.”

And finally, you get an actual reaction from Choso. Not a grunt, not a hum in reply or some offhand comment. Instead, you hear him shuffling around, then the sound of tapping on his phone, likely taking you off of the speaker. His voice comes through, crisp and clear now.

“Sorry,” he apologizes through quick breaths. “What was that?”

“I said Kaito asked me out on a date…this weekend.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yep,” you reply cheerily, hopefully driving the knife a little deeper. Immature, sure, but at this point you’d do anything to get Choso a little closer to saying whether or not he has any feelings for you, if he wants you in the same way you want him. “Probably dinner at his place. Maybe a movie. Not sure yet.”

Choso hums quietly. “And you like this guy…that you just met…today…Kaito…” He says his name like he’s testing it on his tongue.

“He’s really nice.”

“As you’ve said.”

You’re about taken aback by the sudden bite in Choso’s tone, but you ignore his snarkiness. “I don't know how I feel about him yet.”

“Clearly you like him enough to be telling me about him.”

More bite behind his words. Still, you push forward. “I mean, is that bad?” You adjust the phone, moving it to your other ear as you get comfortable beneath your blankets. “You’re my friend, right?”

“Sure, but we don’t talk about stuff like this.”

And he had a point. Even during your summers entertaining Mahito, Choso never wanted to hear about any conversations you had with him. And it’s not like you had that many interactions with him anyway since Choso seemed to always be there whenever the silver haired boy was near you. And you had friends back home to talk about your school girl crushes that never resulted in anything with. 

Aside from your first encounter with Mahito, Choso had also never discussed whether or not you were ever interested in anyone romantically and you had never thought to ask him either. Granted, you only saw each other over the summers and during the year, school kept you both so busy, you couldn’t worry about dating. Your parents were never against it and you'd gone to a movie or two with people who had asked you out, but it was never serious. You didn't care enough to commit to anyone, too focused on trying to get into a good school.

In the summers, the last thing on your mind was asking Choso if he had feelings for anyone else. Most of the time he was with you, anyway. And when he wasn't, he was with his brothers. 

You'd never given thought to Choso…desiring anyone.

Suddenly, the thought of Choso with someone else makes your stomach churn, has your head spinning. Choso in someone else’s arms, hugging someone else, kissing someone else’s lips.

Oh, it has your blood boiling in a way you’ve never experienced before and you try not to sound too petulant when you finally mutter, “Yeah, but I want to talk to you about it now.”

“But why?” He sounds thoroughly confused. You try not to sigh into the receiver. 

“Choso…we’ve literally kissed before, but talking about crushes is where you draw the line?”

It’s the first time either of you have ever mentioned the kiss, now a memory that continues to plague your thoughts and your dreams. 

“Even weirder reason to talk to me about this,” you hear him mumble on the other end.

“How? We’re adults! We can talk about things like that. Besides…” you fiddle with your blanket, worrying your bottom lip between your teeth nervously. “It’s really not weird at all…unless the kiss meant something…more to you?”

You’re met with silence. A long stretch of silence that has you fidgeting anxiously. You almost want to laugh, say “I’m just kidding!” and hang up. But then Choso surprises you. He speaks so quietly, you almost don’t hear it over the thundering of your own heart.

“Did it mean something to you?”

Of course it did. What a stupid question. That silly little first kiss and those lips of Choso’s have been eating away at your brain for almost two years. Saying it meant something to you felt like the understatement of the century. You want to scream out loud that that kiss meant everything to you and you’re sorry it took you so long to stop being an idiot and realize that yes, the kiss was more than that. It opened the door for you to realize exactly how you felt about Choso. 

But even so, you still answer with a very quiet “yes”.

And because it’s Choso, who has never lied to you a day in his life, he responds without hesitation. “Me too.”

Finally! The confirmation you were waiting for! The kiss meant something to Choso, too. You weren’t crazy!

“I’ve been thinking about it since it happened. A lot,” Choso confesses.

“Me too. Probably way too much.”

Choso chuckles, which makes you laugh in turn. It’s the answer you wanted to hear from him, but now that that’s out there and your heart is calming down just a bit, it gives your brain enough time to catch up. And now, you’re a little confused.

“Wait. Why’d you tell me I should go out with Kaito?” You laugh again; half from nerves, half from feeling so silly that you used the guy as bait instead of just outright asking Choso how he felt.

The silence has suddenly returned and any semblance of humor seconds ago has now vanished. Now, you feel nervous again. Like your gut is telling you to end this call immediately. This is the calm before the storm and that knife you were twisting into Choso’s back to try and urge an honest response from him soon finds its way into yours when Choso says, “Because you should.”

The knife twists.

“You like him, don’t you? Go on a date with him.”

“Ha ha.” It’s all you can think to say, because it’s keeping the pain at bay for just a second longer. Only a second longer.

“I’m being serious.”

Another twist. And the sting begins to settle in.

“Choso…”

He says your name back to you. “Do you like him?”

“I like you.” It’s the first time you’ve openly admitted it to him. A few seconds pass by with no response, so you keep talking, if only to fill the silence. “Obviously you feel the same way or that kiss wouldn’t be on your mind two years later, right?”

Choso sighs softly. How can he be so calm and collected when you’re sitting here just now realizing that you’re shaking, nearly vibrating out of your skin.

“I like you, too,” he finally admits. “Have for a long time. Couldn’t tell you when it started, but it’s been for as long as I can remember. So yeah, I feel the same.”

“Okay…” You should feel calmer now, confident in the fact that your feelings for each other are out in the open. But that sharp sting of rejection is slowly starting to build, the knife in your back ready to bury itself deeper. “But?”

“Hmm?”

“I know you. There’s a but coming…isn’t there?”

Another bout of silence and you’re starting to lose your mind having to sit through it. This is not how you expected this conversation to go. And you blame yourself for the way it feels like your heart is going to beat straight through your ribcage and fall flat to the floor.

“But I can’t do anything about these…feelings.” He spits the last word out like it’s bitter. “There’s no future where we could ever be together.”

The knife sinks in.

“Why not?”

“Because–”

“And don’t give me some bullshit reason, either.” You cut him off. Because you don’t want excuses. You want honesty, like Choso has always given you.

“What’s a bullshit reason to you?” His tone is snippy again.

What is a bullshit reason? You don’t know. All you know is that you have feelings for this man who once pulled you from certain death over a decade ago. And he has feelings for you, too! He just told you so! You want to be with him, but he doesn’t seem to want to be with you even if he hasn’t said so yet.

Ironically, all this makes you feel like you’re drowning all over again, struggling to pull your head above the water but going nowhere. It's Choso holding you under instead of pulling you out this time.

“...I don’t know,” you finally answer.

“I do,” Choso responds tersely. “I can give you a reason. Hell, I can give you two, three, maybe even four reasons why we can’t be together.”

“Cho–”

“But I don’t need all of those reasons. I only need one – I’m no good for you.”

You roll your eyes. “Choso, you’ve been my best friend practically my whole life. I cannot think of a single person better for me than you.”

He sighs your name, calling for your attention, but you keep going. “And you know me better than anyone else. I know you better than anyone else–”

Choso says your name again, a little harsher this time. You keep on.

“Besides, you said yourself how that kiss stays on your mind. It’s always on my mind too and we can–”

“Stop!” Choso’s harsh voice cuts through your droning. This time, you can’t ignore the snippiness. Never, in all the time that you’ve known Choso, has he raised his voice at you. At least, not in anger or annoyance. Maybe when you were kids, because kids yell. Kids are loud and bossy and Choso was both of those things as a kid. He was always yelling. But he had never yelled at you the way he just had.

You’re so shocked, your mind so suddenly frazzled, that you can’t bring yourself to respond.

“Why are you insisting on this?” Choso sighs, trying to calm himself, but his voice is still coming out a lot rougher than it ever has in your direction. And it’s hurting you in ways you hadn’t known possible, your little heart beginning to crack within your chest.

“I...I just thought –”

“Thought what, exactly?” Choso asks, a dry chuckle following. “Thought that we’d confess that we have feelings for each other and then we-we’d talk about our futures, make plans to be together forever and ever and then sail off into the sunset?”

“I mean–”

“No.”

That’s all he says.

“No?” You’ll need more than that.

“No. There will be no talking about futures together, making plans, sailing off into the sunset…none of it.”

Those little cracks in your heart start to spread, slowly chipping away. That sharp knife you were twisting into Choso’s back is now lodged deep into your own and it’s fucking killing you slowly.

“I don’t–” Your voice is quivering now and you have to take a deep inhale to steady yourself. “I don’t understand. If I have feelings for you, and you have feelings for me…you said the kiss meant more to you!”

“And I meant that.”

“Then why?! Why are you doing this? Is this because of Kaito?”

“Yes!”

“ I–I barely know him! I only brought him up being childish. I was hoping you would realize you had feelings for me. That’s it! I want to be with you!”

“But you should be with someone like him.” Choso’s voice is quiet now, the harshness of it finally gone. “It wouldn't have mattered if it was Kaito or Utahime or whats the other guy? Suguru? I can’t give you what he– what anyone who isn’t me can.”

Now you’re lost. “What?”

“I can’t be what you need me to be. I can’t be the boyfriend you need, the support you’d need if I were to become your boyfriend…”

It’s embarrassing how quickly you feel the tears brimming along your waterline. How your heart shatters into pieces as he lists off the reasons he isn’t good enough for you.

“Look at my fucked up life. No mother, a deadbeat piece of shit for a father, three brothers that I’m solely responsible for and have been for practically my entire life…” He says your name, like a plea, begging for you to listen to him. Like you should take his word for it and simply accept it.

But you won’t accept it.

“I know all of that, Choso. I know you and what you’ve been through – what you’re going through – better than anyone else. And I still want you.”

Now you say his name like a plea, begging for him to hear you and your words. You don’t care about his struggles, about how he’s had to keep his family together his entire life, forced to grow up too quickly and become the glue that holds everything together. You were there for all of that up until recently. And even through it all, you always found your way back to Choso. That won’t change now.

The quiet drags on, just dead air hanging between you two and when he finally speaks, he surprises you. “And I want you, too.” He tells you, lifting your spirits ever so slightly.

Then just as quickly, he breaks you. Again.

“But I’m doing you a favor, so please. Just go date whoever you want, whoever’s good to you.”

“Choso–” Your voice breaks, your lip trembling as you try to fight the sob threatening to crawl up your throat.

“Please.” You hear the way Choso’s voice cracks in a similar manner. Like he has a sob to match your own trying to escape as well. “You…God, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you. Don’t waste it on someone like me. You have everything going for you. I have nothing going for me. Just some loser working a deadend job in the same deadend town I’ve always been in and will probably always be in. And I refuse to drag you down with me. I’m looking out for you…Like I’ve always tried to do.”

Your protector.

Even when you don’t want him to be. Even when you wish he wouldn’t be. Even when it hurts you.

“It’s not that I don’t want to be with you,” Choso tells you. “I do. Fuck, believe me when I say that. I would love nothing more than that because I've wanted it for so long…but you deserve so much more than this.”

“You are not a loser, Choso. Just…stop. I think we can–”

“I have to go,” He interrupts. “Need to finish this stuff up and head home. Yuuji has a project due tomorrow that I need to help with.” He’s quiet again, but you can just make out the sound of him sniffling, choking down that same sob before he says, “I’ll talk to you later.”

Choso ends the call abruptly, before you can even say goodbye, and the shakiness of his voice stays with you for the rest of the night. Even as you shower, numb to the excruciating heat of the water. As you brush your teeth and crawl beneath your sheets where you finally allow your heart to fully crumple. Even then, you hear the clear tremble of Choso’s words.

It hurts. This is a pain you don’t have any experience with. You don't know what to do with it. This is a pain you’d hoped you would never have to feel. And you never expected your best friend to be the one to cause it.

But you’re hopeful that you two will be able to patch things up. That you two will be able to go back to normal, even if things are awkward for a bit. Because you don’t want to lose Choso. He’s your very best friend, long distance or not. He means way too much to you for your crush to get in the way. You just hope you haven’t ruined things between you two.

Besides, he did say he would talk to you later. You take solace in that, finally letting sleep take over even as your tears still fall.

If only you’d have known that when you opened your eyes the next morning and opened your phone to send an apology text to Choso, that your text would fail to go through. 

If only you’d known that you would go to check Choso’s social media pages only to see blank screens because he’d apparently blocked you. You'd search through every account he has on every social media platform and find yourself no longer able to see any of his information.

“I refuse to drag you down with me.” Those words play on a loop in your mind.

He really meant it.

[yourmarymacdonald]

hello lovelies

Get to know me post!!!

My name: Mary Macdonald, but of course you knew that <3

Pronouns are she/her

Age is 16, going on 17 on September 16 <3

My girlfriend is none other than @my-name-is-lilyevans <333

Sexuality: Aego and a raging bisexual

Favorite color: light/dark purple and beige. And the color of Lily's hair and eyes <3

Favorite animal: my cats, Raja and Lily<3

I love flowers, partying, reading, gossip, an makeup.

Lily and Marlene are my bestest of friends, and the Remus ofc <3

I hope you lovelies have a fantastic day <3

Fun facts:

I have a small red camera I use and abuse to take pictures of my friends

Abba is the best, anyone who says otherwise is homophobic.

I love dying my hair and painting

Butterflies are the absolute best tied with Abba I love butterflies

I am scarily good at transfiguration but suck at potions

I have ADHD, maybe autism, but I don't know

People I know:

@m0ony-the-w0lf : one of my best friends

@pandas-roses : she's really nice and I want to be her friend

@wormtail-on-a-string : he's very fun and I'm convinced he's slightly gay(no offense wormy)

@fairies-rocks-books-spells : he's very mysterious in a good way

@bee-not-butterfly : I'm so freaking jealous of his style you have no idea

@dor-c4s : she seems like a mom

@signed-rab : very proper and sirius's brother

@padfoot-the-dog : so freaking gay and into Remus

@jfprongsie : down baaaad for Regulus you guys have noo idea

Anyways, thanks for listening to my rant, have a good day lovelies <3

[cousin-quartz-of-house-paradox]

iris wildthyme my absolute fucking beloved 🫶

doing reviews of all her prose stories (NOT in order lol)

you'll find them in my #iris wildthyme <-tag, along w other iris-core posts and disjointed thoughts there lol. more specific is the #wildthyme is spoken for! <-meta tag, which has all I have to say abt each story plus my comments + screenshots of some passages meanwhile! :) also i post actual iris meta there! #iris & panda <-tag for THEM<33

list of iris wildthyme things (full mostly-coherent reviews, meta) ive posted about:

iris story reviews:

More Short Trips: Femme Fatale (by Paul Magrs): this is half a story review and half me trying to make sense of what in the fuck even happened (in a good way.) this story's got a non-linear narrative too i love that shit.

The Panda Book of Horror (anthology):

Iris Wildthyme and The Unholy Ghost

Framed

Iris Wildthyme of Mars (anthology):

Wandering Stars

A Clockwork Iris (anthology):

Flasket Brimmer and The Clockwork Heart

The Woman Who Sold The Moon

Iris and The Dame

Timepeace

iris meta:

On Iris Wildthyme, and coping mechanisms, and issues plenty.

On Iris, and queerness<3

On Iris and her attachment issues, featuring Panda and the Doctor.

Reviews of (mostly) all Iris audio stories!

Discussion of the two ends of genres in Iris Wildthyme stories

half-meta, half-story idea: iris wildthyme & yoko ono and john lennon, possible dynamics + more iris act meta, short bpd iris meta.

other assorted iris-y things:

Out-of-Context things that happen in Verdigris (y2k PDA by Paul Magrs himself)

Compilation of the (third) Doctor and Iris being Divorced™ from Verdigris

Bafflement and Devotion: fun thoughts on re-read.

btw!!! i ALSO do benny summerfield series stuff!!!

#benny series <-for overall, well, benny series stuff lol! relationship tags (which are NOT romantic inherently to me, relationship in the true meaning of the word, the flavourful dynamic) i use/talk abt are: #bennybrax, #braxjason, #bevbrax. i think abt bennyjason and bennybev and occasionally bevadrian too, but don't post Thoughts/analyses about them as much. some of my meta's tagged as #benny series meta, but not all. because i forget lol.

benny list :3

coherent/well planned meta/analyses:

general bevbrax dynamics meta throughout time

bev(brax) analysis from short story "work in progress" (anthology: collected works)

bev character meta (short story "the purpura pawn" bringing forth the second change in her character which saves her from complete Braxification)

in-depth analysis of the second-last scene from dead mice. braxjason analysis there, kind of. individual analyses of both.

less coherent meta:

benny series hot takes: love for twilight of the gods + in living memory, mirror effect brax motives acc. to my interpretation of the story, mirror effect + crystal of cantus braxjason ranting, bevbrax dynamic discussion, benny being flawed (hypocrisy<3 love her<3)

jason love from ME<3

stewart sheargold's writing, motif: brax + fucked up view of (BENNY's) kid(s)

suicide bomber brax (something changed anthology)

other assorted things:

daemon au planning

aaaaand! Faction Paradox! honouring my url at last XD

currently am Obsessed with the brakespeare voyage, so, stuff abt that! my brakespeare blorbos in their respective tags: #robert scarratt, #cousin nebaioth, #cousin kercovian, #philetes :)

meta:

Kercovian & Nebaioth study, in their later days [or: proof of care.]

How Kercovian and Nebaioth's first parting is responsible for the breaking of the cycle for Captain Scarratt.

[cbsxreader]

could i please have the mercs with an s/o who is a shapeshifter that can turn into nearly any form?

Mercs with an S/o who is a shapeshifter!

Scout

He's the one that has the biggest freak-out when he finds out about his S/o's abilities. He's not really scared but not very calm either.

Once he gets comfortable with it, he decides to see his S/o's limits by challenging them, but he learns his lesson pretty quickly.

"Bet you can't win against me in a race!" Scout challenged his S/o. he knew very well that his S/o could take different forms but he was still confident in his speed.

"I bet I can!" His S/o accepted the offer to a race, standing right by Scout to fairly start the run. they both got into position to start running.

"Alright 3, 2, 1, Go!" Scout counted before both of them sped off, beginning to run circles around the building.

It was basically neck and neck before his S/o started to run out of breath. In a desperate attempt to not fall behind, they transformed into a dog, the extra legs carrying them forward to catch up with Scout again. Only to grow tired after a few more circles.

As they watched Scout get ahead with a smug smile, they decided to go with the last ditch effort to change to a cheetah. they easily sped past Scout, getting a lap ahead of him. This continued until Scout stopped, panting.

"Wait- slow down..." He called out to his S/o before they could run past him again.

"Am I too fast for you?" His S/o asked in a sly tone.

"Yeah..." Scout answered, breathless.

Soldier

Genuinely thinks his S/o should replace Spy in terms of having someone who can change their appearance on the battlefield. His S/o has to convince him that they don't need to strip Spy of his job though he secretly considers it to be an open option.

He doesn't freak out about his S/o's abilities at all, which isn't too bad. It keeps him from overthinking if he just considers them to have the same abilities as Spy.

"Stand back sweetheart. That little bastard is unpredictable and can attack at any moment." Soldier said, putting his hands in front of his S/o and trying to protect them from the bread monster in front of them.

"It isn't that threatening to be honest." His S/o looked over his shoulder, catching a glimpse of the little creature.

"It fears nothing, it is a high level threat-" Soldier continued to rant before another bread monster appeared by his foot. It barked at the other, smaller one, making it scoot away.

Soldier got confused for a moment before realizing his S/o decided fight fire as fire. They ran after the other creature, chasing after it.

"Yeah!! Get him, cupcake!!! Show him who's boss!!" He cheered, running behind his S/o.

Pyro

They're amazed by their S/o's abilities and don't see it as a weird thing. Like, after the first time Pyro saw their S/o change form, they hugged them out of wonder and happiness.

Tea parties with his S/o are regular occurrences. It's fun for both of them to pretend random animals can drink tea while putting up their pinkie fingers and eat cookies.

"Hmm mph mmm hm mm hm?" Pyro asked their now red panda S/o, reaching out the kettle filled with pretend-tea.

"Oh yes, absolutely." Their S/o responded, playing into the act and putting on a posh accent. They reached out their cup closer to Pyro with their paws.

"Thank you, Pyro." Their S/o thanked them after having their cup filled with tea. They brought the cup to their lips, sipping the non-existing drink.

"This tea is amazing!" Their S/o said, complimenting them.

"Phm mm." Pyro mumbled.

"What is going on?" The Spy head that Pyro stole from Medic's fridge asked.

Demoman

Is completely obsessed with mythical creatures and cryptids so his S/o just brings his interest to a whole new level.

He's already dealt with the Loch Ness monster, wizards, his haunted eye and other weird stuff. And the fact that he can get so close to his S/o without getting killed makes him just sit while mesmerized by them.

Sometimes, Demoman can't help himself but ask for them to transform into something specific, just to see how they would look like and see the transformation over and over.

"Can ye be a hamster?" He asked his S/o, smiling and holding his head in his hands.

"Sure!" His S/o accepted. In the blink of an eye they suddenly were so small that they could fit in the palm of a hand. They looked at Demoman with cute eyes, sniffing the air around them.

"Aww yer adorable! Now can you be a dog?" He said, smile growing wider. Quickly, his S/o abandoned the form of a little rodent and became a trusty canine. Demoman nearly squeaked out of joy and was about to ask for a different animal but his S/o spoke up first.

"Come on, give me a challenge!" They eagerly wagged their tail, eager to see what Demoman had in mind.

"Alright, let's see...Dragon!" He cheered, giving a more interesting answer. His S/o only jumped in the air and glowed as they transformed, their wings stretching out in utter majesty.

"Now that's more like it! Demo?" His S/o cheered before tilting their head at Demoman's stunned expression.

"Ye look amazing..." He whispered, absolutely in awe of his S/o.

Engineer

As a man with a scientific mind, he's shocked at his S/o's abilities at first. He knows he lives in a crazy world where anything could happen but his S/o to him is just next level.

Other than that, Engie treats it as a pretty casual thing and tries to not make his S/o left out. He just doesn't want to exclude them just because they're different and constantly checks up on them to make sure everything's good.

There's nothing else that cheers him up like his S/o randomly transforming into a different form and handing him a tool while he works. Especially after working non-stop.

"Oh, why can't it just- work??" Engineer said after once again failing to fix up the sentry.

"Maybe this can help?" His S/o spoke up, handing him a wrench.

When he looked in their direction, only to see them as a monkey with a hardhat on. Engie looked at them for a moment before bursting out in laughter.

"And I thought I made bad dad jokes!" He said in-between chuckles.

Heavy

He may have been a bit confused at first about the whole shapeshifter thing but he doesn't let it get in the way of their love for each other.

Honestly, his favorite moments are when his S/o does something he didn't know they could do. And the moment becomes even more memorable to him if his S/o explains it to him and he gets to learn more about their abilities.

It's not that he hates his S/o, but they've got a work-out routine of them being a bear and wrestling together. It may look pretty tough from afar but it's like harmless banter between them.

"Is that all you have, leetle one?" Heavy asked as he stopped his S/o from knocking him down by grabbing their big front paws.

His S/o took it as a challenge and proceeded to use all of their strength to push Heavy back. When he barely budged, his S/o tackled him with their full weight, making him fall back. Heavy felt like he was in a sandvich between his S/o on top of him and the ground.

"Who's the little one now?" His S/o asked, lowering their face closer to his, their wet nose tickling his skin.

"Ohohohoho- alright, alright, you win.." He chuckled, grabbing his S/o's snout and pushing them away.

Medic

Oh you bet he's curious abt his S/o's anatomy. Like, he has so much questions. Does his S/o get an entirely new organ system when they transform? Do they have organs that can only be found in specific animals?

Of course, he'd only experiment on them with their consent. Medic's scientific and malicious mind is racing with ideas but he hold himself back. He finds his S/o fascinating and can't help but admire them in all of their forms.

His S/o finds it fun to transform into a dove and see if Medic can tell which dove is them.

"Liebe, where did you go? Ach, don't tell me you're a dove again.." Medic said, scrambling around his lab before stopping at a row of his doves. He looked at the birds with narrow eyes, examining their features.

"Wait, you're Archimedes, you...I forgot your name- Is it you?" He murmured, pointing to the different doves, eventually ending up on his disguised S/o.

"You got me!" They spoke up, stretching out their wings.

"Aha! I'm getting better at recognizing you!" He cheered as he lightly tapped their beak.

Sniper

He keeps his curiosity about his S/o a secret because he doesn't want to feel like he's bothering them with his questions. But when he can squeeze a question out of their conversation he listens to their every word.

Loves having his S/o around as small animals because then he can practice sniping while they're on his shoulder or on his head.

Sniper remained still as his S/o flew to his nest. They softly landed on his head, trying not to rip his scalp with their talons.

"If you're not finding anything, there's a Soldier that might turn a corner into your sight." They said out loud. His S/o didn't get a response but the Soldier quickly showed up.

"There he is." They spoke up again. Right after their comment, Sniper put a bullet in the Soldier's skull. The sudden shot scared them and they gripped their talons, making Sniper hiss in pain.

"Oh no, Sniper, I'm so sorry!" They quickly got off of his head, apologizing.

He quickly collected himself and spoke in a calm voice "It's alright...but could you get me a small medkit, please?.."

Spy

He finds it somewhat endearing that both him and his S/o have some sort of shapeshifting abilities. Sure, it's more of a disguising thing for Spy but point still stands of them being able to appear as something different.

Likes his S/o's cat form. He finds their purring relaxing and they can get comfortable on his lap while he reads. Also it helps the old man relieve pains or cramps from battles.

Spy stumbled into his room, exhausted from fighting. His chest ached from how much he had been stabbed, shot and exploded and his legs were about to make him collapse.

He fell onto his bed, carelessly letting his limbs fall wherever. Then he felt the mattress dip right by him, his S/o was a cat now with a corner of a towel in their mouth. Spy took the towel and put it on his chest to not get cat fur on his clothes.

His S/o climbed on his chest, slightly kneading the towel before curling up and purring. The vibrations traveled through Spy's body, making him relax.

"Thank you, mon cher." He quietly said, closing his eyes and breathing slowly.

[glitteredbubbles]

Intro post!!

Fanfic Masterlist | Current WIPs

Hi!! You can call me Zoë, and my pronouns are she/her :)

(last updated 6/19/2025)

Some prominent facts about me:

- I’m a demisexual lesbian who posts occasionally and mainly reblogs stuff I find visually appealing

- For positionality context, I am a white cis USAmerican woman (specifically from the south; I have a love/hate relationship with it)

- I am undiagnosed but suspect I am somewhere on the autism spectrum

- I am a fanfic writer!! You can find my ao3 account here

- I consume a LOT of media; I mainly watch a lot movies, read a lot of books, and listen to a lot of music, though I am trying to get into TV shows more

- I enjoy asks and DMs! We don’t have to be mutuals, just don’t be weird :)

- I do not have a tagging system really; I mainly use my tags as an extra space to rant so this is like the Wild West (you can find fandom specific posts usually through ship names like Anderperry or Reddie)

- DNIs: if you’re homophobic, a nazi, transphobic, a terf, ableist, an ed/pro-ana tumblr account, fatphobic, racist, a white supremacist, anti-semitic, a zionist, misogynist, a conservative, or if you’re just mean tbh. I can and will block anyone who gives me bad vibes so keep that in mind when interacting <3

Fandoms:

- Dead Poets Society (mainly Anderperry)

- IT (mainly Reddie)

- I have other fandoms that I write for/have written for which I’m not super active in like The Batman, Stranger Things, and The Goldfinch

- I also have fandoms that I’ve only read fanfic for that I’m not super involved in that I could geek out about like The Maze Runner, Detroit: Become Human, One Direction, Criminal Minds, Heartstopper, etc.

Interests:

Music:

- I listen to practically every genre (besides post-9/11 country music), but I tend to gravitate more towards sad indie, 1970s folk, or instrumental score music!

- For example, some of my favorites are Sufjan Stevens, Mitski, Bon Iver, Ethel Cain, Black Country New Road, Lucy Dacus, Radiohead, Adrienne Lenker, Elliott Smith, Car Seat Headrest, Fleetwood Mac, Simon & Garfunkel, Nick Drake, Talking Heads, George Harrison, Al Green, Tia Blake, Labi Siffre, Emile Mosseri, Masayoshi Takanaka, Philip Glass, Masakatsu Takagi, Colin Stetson, Jonny Greenwood, Aphex Twin, Mort Garson, Mamman Sani, etc.

Books:

- I prefer to read literary fiction (particularly realistic fiction), but I also try to read a good amount of poetry and nonfiction as well! (If you want to be mutuals on Storygraph, DM me!)

- My favorite books of all time are Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit, The Little Prince, The Song of Achilles, The Miseducation of Cameron Post, Catcher in the Rye, Crush, The Virgin Suicides, Beloved, The Secret History, The Color Purple, The Awakening, Devotions, The Giver, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, The Book Thief, The Goldfinch, There There, Giovanni’s Room, The Bluest Eye, Gorilla My Love, and The Dream of a Common Language!!

Movies:

- I’ll watch any and everything, although my personal taste leans towards coming-of-age, queer, weird, sad, and/or arthouse cinema. (If you want to be mutuals on Letterboxd, DM me!)

- Some of my favorite movies are Where Is the Friend’s House?, Little Miss Sunshine, Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters, Perfect Blue, The Company of Strangers, Swiss Army Man, Being John Malkovich, Everything Everywhere All At Once, Dead Poets Society, Parasite, the Spiderverse movies, Her, Moonlight, The Holdovers, The Favourite, City of God, La Haine, Kung Fu Panda, But I’m a Cheerleader, The Lego Batman Movie, Videodrome, Funny Games, My Own Private Idaho, Happy Together, Daisies, Tampopo, The Last Black Man in San Francisco, Vive L’Amour, the Muppet movies, Funeral Parade of Roses; the list could go on and on and on haha.

TV Shows:

- I don’t watch a lot of TV, but I usually prefer shows with tight-knit plots that don’t drag on for too many seasons. I also like game shows and cartoons! (If you want to be mutuals on Serializd, DM me!)

- Some of my favorite shows are Avatar: The Last Airbender, Jeopardy, I Am Not Okay With This, Stranger Things (specifically the first two seasons), Smiling Friends, Fellow Travelers, Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared, The Amazing World of Gumball, Young Royals, Over the Garden Wall, Pen15, The Bear, Heartstopper, Bob’s Burgers, Reservation Dogs, Barry, etc.

Video Games:

- I am definitely not a gamer, but I spent much of my adolescence watching gaming YouTubers play and live out my dreams of completing games I couldn’t afford. I mainly love indie games and also Nintendo franchises!

- Some of my favorite video games are Stardew Valley, Life is Strange, Zelda (both BOTW and TOTK), Inside, Detroit: Become Human, Papers Please, Overcooked 2, MySims Agents, Until Dawn, Sonic Adventure DX, Zelda Wind Waker, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Kirby’s Return to Dreamland, Unpacking, fnaf, etc.

Miscellaneous Interests:

- I’m into a lot of random stuff that doesn’t really fall under the other categories, so I’m putting it all here!

- Paul Dano, Smosh, crocheting, physical media collection, Game Grumps, Letterboxd, making sad edits, Ayo Edebiri, drawing occasionally, Drew Gooden, slay graphic tees, Criterion Collection, flavored lemonade, Louis Tomlinson, sour candy, looking up the definition of words, Mary Oliver, making time-accurate playlists, going to concerts (I’ve been to 26 so far), etc.

Challenges:

- Because I am insane, I have dedicated myself to random challenges just because I can. Right now, I’m trying to read a book (35/200), watch a movie (73/200), and listen to an album (32/200) from every country! I’m also trying to watch a movie for every year cinema has existed just because (90/125). As a rule of thumb, I usually try to read 44 books every year (21/44) since that’s the goal I’ve kept since 2022!

- If you have any suggestions/recommendations for any of my challenges, please tell me! Even if I’ve read/seen/heard something from that country, I still like adding stuff to my list to consume later!

Posts I’m proud of:

To end this, here are some posts I’m happy with/want to keep track of!

- Showed my friend DPS | DPS hot takes | DPS journey | Cameron analysis

- Homophobic little brother part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5

- Yearning web weaving | not yourself web weaving | religious trauma web weaving

- 2024 movie recs | top 10 movies in gifs | top 100 movies | Letterboxd lists | weird movie recs | Eastern Europe movie recs

- Fanfic excerpt | 10k hits on my fic | fanfic connection | how I imagined Anderperry in my fic | fanfic “or” statements | fanfic asks part 1, part 2

- Media consumption final boss | Mitski uquiz | fake idgafer | doomed narrative yaoi

- Personal poem part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

- Music recs part 1, part 2, part 3 (new wave) | best film scores | my Spotify daylist titles